Dear Amy: My wife and I just welcomed our first child into the world.
My wife has anxiety and depression. She went off her meds during her pregnancy and struggled.
Just after the birth of our son, my folks were visiting at the hospital and started pressuring/correcting her about breastfeeding and on how she was holding the baby. He was less than a day old.
After seeing photos, other of my relatives have commented/critiqued in a way that might seem benign, but for my wife, these comments are causing her to doubt her every move. She is feeling very insecure and her emotions are on edge.
I’ve decided to limit any family visits and to deny visits to people who so far don’t seem able to keep their parenting critiques to themselves. I just want to give us another month or so to get our sea legs, but my parents are very upset.
What do you think?
– Protective Dad
Dear Dad: I agree with your protective choice. These early days are tough, but can also be vital and beautiful bonding times for your little family.
Furthermore, make sure your wife is screened immediately for postpartum depression, and to have her mental health medication restored or adjusted.
After a month or so, you all will be feeling more robust and secure, but even then, you should be careful and protective. It’s a parent’s highest calling.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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