Miss Manners: Latina shopper responds calmly to racist remarks

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While searching for bargains at a local charity thrift shop, an older lady near me suddenly asked me why I was ignoring her.

I’d had no inkling that she had even addressed me. I apologized and asked what she wanted.

She immediately fired back, “It’s because of my skin color. You whites drive me crazy. Your s*** stinks just like the rest of us.”

I was floored. I just mumbled something like “I guess so,” and scampered away. She raised her voice to deliver more racist attacks.

The thing is, I am Latina, just as she was, but I do not necessarily look it.

How should I have reacted? Should I have identified my cultural background? Should I have verbally sparred with her instead of hurrying away to lurk in the glassware area until the all-clear sounded?

GENTLE READER: Insult collecting -- taking offense when none was intended -- seems to have become the national sport.

Tempting as it surely was to point out that this person had failed to notice your mutual heritage, Miss Manners admires you for refusing to play. People spoiling for a fight are not put off by facts, any more than by common decency.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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