DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for three years. In that time, he has refused to step up. He shows up late for work 90% of the time, and sometimes doesn’t show up at all. He has been fired because of his behavior. He does what he wants with no regard for others, although he says he feels bad about hurting people when he does.
I do a lot for him, and I feel like he doesn’t appreciate anything or even acknowledge it. He recognizes that he needs to step up, but refuses to put in the effort. For Christmas, he bought me earrings. The earrings were cute, but I don’t have pierced ears, and I feel it’s a detail he should have known after three years. Am I wrong for feeling like I should return the favor and stop putting in effort? -- FATIGUED IN UTAH
DEAR FATIGUED: Let me put it this way: You are wrong for not telling your husband of three years that you are tired of him not pulling his weight and of his self-centeredness and lack of appreciation for you. Express those feelings. Be glad you haven’t had a child with him. If he doesn’t start turning over a new leaf, start “reconsidering” your marriage, unless you want this to be your future.
Stories by Abigail Van Buren
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- Dear Abby: Parents blatantly ignore all personal boundaries
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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